Metta – Developing Lovingkindness for Ourselves

Metta:
Metta is a Pali word that is usually translated as ‘Lovingkindness’. Strictly speaking it can also be translated more simply as ‘love’, but in the West we are so hung up about the passionate or sentimental aspects of love that it is not so useful. Thus we use the rather cumbersome ‘lovingkindness’ when introducing the concept of Metta. In reality, part of the value of Metta meditation practice is that you will explore and learn your own meaning for ‘Metta’. We develop feelings of Metta by unconditionally wishing that people are well, happy and free from danger – no matter who they are.

A pearl goes up for auction. No one has enough, so the pearl buys itself – Rumi

Love exists in itself, not relying on owning or being owned. Like the pearl, love can only buy itself, because love is not a matter of currency or exchange. No one has enough to buy it, but everyone has enough to cultivate it. Metta re-unites us with what it means to be alive and unbound – From ‘Lovingkindness, the Revolutionary Art of Happiness’ Sharon Salzberg

The Sublime Abodes:
Metta is part of what is known as the four ‘Brahma-Viharas’, which translates as the ‘Sublime Abodes’. The reason they are called this is based on the belief that our emotions are states of mind that we choose – not things that happen to us. So, instead of saying ‘Fred made me angry’, we should say ‘Fred did this, and I chose to be angry’. This is not how we normally behave, but if we can make this shift in our approach, then we ourselves can be much happier by choosing that our mind dwell in positive mind-states, or the ‘heavenly abodes’. The four abodes are:

• Metta – Lovingkindness
• Karuna – Compassion
• Mudita – Joy in others’ success
• Upekka – Equanimity

Traditionally, the practice we will be learning is called the ‘Metta Bahavana’ – ‘Making Lovingkindness Happen’. Again, this is based on the understanding that our emotions are our own choices.

Metta for Ourselves:
In the full Metta practice we progress through developing feelings for ourselves, our friends, people we don’t know well, our enemies and finally all sentient beings. Metta meditation is truly a life-long practice! We start, though, with the foundation, which is to generate feelings of Metta for ourselves. Many people find this the hardest part. The most important thing to remember is that Metta is unconditional. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, we need to root ourselves in the belief that we deserve to be well, happy, free of danger and free of fear. So, thoughts about our issues and inadequacies have no place in this meditation – you deserve to be well and happy, unconditionally.

Practice: Metta for Myself:
This meditation is designed to allow us to start to feel what Metta really means, by directing feelings of lovingkindness to ourselves.

Start by settling into your meditation position and gaining focus through mindfulness of the breath. Now bring to mind a time, place or situation where you were truly happy, comfortable with your place in the world and what you were doing. Work with that image and notice the feeling you get. Now, maintaining that feeling as best you can, tell yourself that you deserve that feeling of happiness in all of your life, regardless of the mistakes you make or situations you find yourself in. Repeat the mantram ‘May I be well, May I be happy’ and try to let go of any negative feelings, realizing that you deserve to feel well and happy – unconditionally.

Chris

Awareness

Sometimes it feels like modern life is characterized by a detachment from reality – a feeling that we are sleepwalking through a world of extreme sensory input from television, the news, music, advertising and the hustle and bustle of business life. It may come as a surprise then to know that this feeling is nothing new, and that the stresses we see in societies and individuals today were apparent to the great thinkers two thousand years ago.

The Mindfulness of Breathing meditation we have practiced is a form of Vipassana meditation. Vipassana is often translated as ‘Insight’, ‘Mindfulness’ or ‘Awareness’, but the most telling translation is ‘Seeing things as they really are’. When we sit in Vipassana we are working towards developing an understanding of our minds, our bodies and the world around us that is free from the delusions and constructs that we normally cling to.

Vipassana is a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion. – from Vipassana Society Website.

As such, Vipassana cannot be taught, but can only be gained from the practice of meditation and the experiences we have. In the stories of the Buddha (which means, literally, ‘The Awake One’), there is a tale of a time when He silently held up a flower in front of a group of followers. Immediately one of the followers understood, and was enlightened.

The inventor Buckminster Fuller was fond of holding up his hand and asking people, “What is this?” Invariably, they would respond, “It’s a hand.” He would then point out that the cells that made up that hand were continually dying and regenerating themselves. What seems tangible is continually changing: in fact, a hand is completely re-created within a year or so. So when we see a hand—or an entire body or any living system—as a static “thing,” we are mistaken. “What you see is not a hand,” said Fuller. “It is a ‘patterned integrity,’ the universe’s capability to create hands.” – Recounted by Peter Senge in ‘Presence’.

We can start our Vipassana practice on the cushion, but the hope is to be able to see everything as it really is.

Focus:
One of the tricks our mind uses to keep us from being aware of the reality around us is to keep the mind busy, chattering and wandering. Our Mindfulness of Breathing practice is a way to keep the mind centered and focused. Paying attention to the minutiae of the breathing process builds an awareness of our body and the way it works, and the relationship we have with it. Once you have a feel for this kind of focus you can apply it to everyday tasks – from eating your cereal in the morning to walking. Slowing down our pace, removing distractions and taking the time to really be present is a great step forward in ‘seeing things as they really are’.

Practice: How Did I Get Here?
This meditation helps us to start to see the complex web of interconnections that we are part of. One of the great insights of meditation is how none of us are independent, but that we are all intricately connected to each other.

Start by practicing the Mindfulness of Breathing. When you get to the point of dwelling in the moment, totally present and aware of your breath, allow your mind to ask the question ‘How did I get here?’ Start with the mundane, ‘By Car’, then gently peel back the circumstances, relationships, meetings, happenings that led to you being here. All the while keep you mind centered on your breath, being very aware of the present.

Chris

Sweet Vinegar

The core of Buddhist thought is captured in the four noble truths, the first of which is: "Life is dukkha". Dukkha is a Sanskrit word which is usually translated as 'suffering', although it is generally agreed that this is too narrow an interpretation. Often the rather clumsy translation of 'unsatisfactory' is used. Probably the best translation I have heard is the colloquialism: "Life Sucks".

The origin of the word 'dukkha' alludes to a squeaky potter's wheel. I find this a far more enlightening image - life is out of balance, and that causes it to be unsatisfactory, full of suffering, and generally 'sucky'. Those of us who are Reggio/Glass fans will recognize the concept in the Hopi Indian word Koyaanisqatsi.

I find that some people are turned off by the fact that Buddhism has this concept of dukkha at its core. I have been told that people feel that this focus on suffering is negative and unhelpful.

A few years ago Benjamin Hoff's book, The Tao of Pooh popularized the old picture of the 'Vinegar Tasters'. The picture shows Confucius, The Buddha and Lao Tse (representing Taoism) tasting some vinegar. Confucius tastes the vinegar as sour, The Buddha as bitter, and Lao Tse tastes it as sweet. The usual interpretation of this image is that Confucianism sees the world as sour, and in need of structure, rules and regulations to make it better. Buddhism sees the world as bitter - full of pain and suffering, and Taoism sees the world as sweet, fundamentally good if appreciated properly. This is, of course, a biased and simplistic view, but it is true that Buddhism sees our experience of dukkha as core.

So do I feel that the focus on dukkha is problematic? Not at all. Buddhism never promises to be an easy, happy-clappy self-help path. People often forget the rest of the four noble truths. To paraphrase, they are:

1. Life is suffering (dukkha)
2. Suffering is caused by our attachment and aversion
3. We can be free from suffering
4. The way to be free from suffering is by following the path known as the Eightfold path

To me, the third noble truth is the key. We can be free from suffering, from this 'unsatisfactoriness' we experience in this life. As Kusala Bhikshu says, "Suffering is Optional".

The radical thing here is that the cause of dukkha is identified as our attachment and aversion. This is not how we normally approach life. We usually think we will suffer less if we have more of what we like, and less of what we don't like. And yet that approach is exactly what causes suffering. We need to move beyond our attachment to 'the good' and aversion to 'the bad'.

I find the message of Buddhism one of great joy. The suffering and unsatisfactoriness of this life is optional. We know the cause of suffering, and we know why our usual attempts to ease our suffering don't work. And we've been given a path to decrease our suffering.

Whether or not you are a Buddhist, you can turn your life around by recognizing that our attachment to things causes our suffering. And the eightfold path? Well, I'll go into that in another post, but it's good to know that meditation is a part of that path.

Chris.

Working With the Breath

Using a Focus.
As we start to meditate, we quickly learn how capricious our mind is. It wants to take us here and there, and despite our best efforts we unknowingly get dragged into a thought conversation with our self about tonight’s dinner, tomorrow’s work or yesterday’s troubles at home. We start to meditate, and suddenly ‘wake up’ to the fact that we have spent several minutes wandering down a thought path of one kind or another.

One way that we can help keep our mind on our practice is to choose a focal point – some people meditate watching a candle; some visualize a colorful shape; and some repeat a meaningful phrase (a 'mantram'). By far the most common focus, used in almost all of the major traditions, is the breath.

Following the Breath.
The great thing about our breath is that as long as we are alive we can use it as a focal point. Whether we are sitting on the cushion meditating, performing household chores or in a busy shop, we always have our breath we can follow.

We say ‘follow’ in this kind of meditation, because the goal is to breathe as normally as possible. We are not trying to breathe differently, we are just trying to be totally aware of how we are breathing (note: this is different to other practices, such as Qigong or Pranayama in Yoga, where the goal is to breathe in a special way).

When we use the breath as a focus in meditation we start by becoming as aware as possible of all aspects of our breathing: how our whole body participates; how in-breaths differ from out-breaths; how the air coming in and out of our body causes a sensation on our lips or nostrils. We then allow our mind to ‘dwell’ on a specific aspect of our breathing, and allow it to remain there.

Be Here Now.
We should not strain to have an unnatural focus on our breath. Instead, the key word is to ‘dwell’ – to dwell in a place where we have complete awareness of our breath. As other thoughts arise (and they will), we just return to our breath. As we do this we will gain a sense of ‘presence’, being totally ‘here’ in the moment, not allowing our mind to drag us off into memories of things past or hopes, plans and fears for the future. As the title of Ram Dass’s book exhorts us, we need to ‘Be Here Now’. Our breath is a tool (and only a tool) that we can use to get us ‘into this moment’ at any time in our lives.

"We walk around like there are some holy moments, and there are all the other moments that are unholy.”– from ‘Waking Life’, Richard Linklater

Practice: Mindfulness of Breathing.
This meditation can become the core of your practice, in that you will do this at the start of other more involved practices in order to ‘center’ and focus. Once you have practiced this for a while you will find that you can use this ‘centering’ technique anywhere and at any time.

Sit as comfortably as you can, on a cushion or on a chair. Don’t slouch, but sit upright, with your back, neck and head straight and in alignment so that gravity supports your head. Keep you shoulder-blades back, and rest your hands gently on your lap or legs. Relax, keep breathing normally, and gently close your eyes. Now, turn your attention to the fact that you are breathing. Wait a little to feel the rhythm of your breath, without forcing or straining it. Gently visit each part of your body with your mind and see how your whole body appears to participate. Notice how your breathing isn’t a simple in and out, but there are pauses between the in and our breaths. Notice how breathing in feels different to breathing out. Now bring your mind to the place where the air is entering and leaving your body – your nostrils or lips. Become aware of the tiniest sensation as the air goes in or out. Now, very gently, allow you mind to dwell there, focused but not straining, on the ingress and egress of your breath. When a thought arises, acknowledge it and let it go. Be aware of your presence in this very moment.

Chris

Just Sitting

Why Meditate?
There are many reasons why you might want to meditate – to calm down, to help cope with stress, increase focus or performance, curiosity, to help on a spiritual path, to experience bliss or to gain enlightenment. All of these are good and valid reasons, and meditation has helped individuals develop in these ways for many thousands of years.

Above all, though, meditation is personal. It is about you learning more about You. It is about learning how your mind works, and how you can work with it. While we cannot predict exactly how a good meditation practice will change you, we can promise that you will be the better for it.

Expect Nothing.
That said, the best way to approach meditation is to expect nothing. That may seem strange, but one of the largest hindrances to growth in meditation is trying to grasp at some result. This is a difficult thing for all of us, but probably the first thing we have to learn is to let go of our goals and just experience meditation. No attachment to results, just a commitment to and a curiosity for the practice.

How Do I Know If I’m Doing It Right?
Despite the fact that there have been thousands of books written on meditation, there is no one ‘right’ way to meditate. The basic rule is, if you’re doing it, you’re doing it right. Now, we can definitely learn from the great teachers of the past, and we will refer to many of them, but that doesn’t mean that there is a simple formula for you. One of the reasons we like to join together to meditate is to discuss and share experiences, so that we can experiment and learn from each other.

Sometimes you will find meditation difficult. You won’t be able to concentrate, or you will find a practice difficult, or you will grow despondent that it ‘really isn’t worth it’. Often times of difficulty are the times when most progress is being made, which is why a commitment to the practice (rather than to specific results) is so important.

Experiment.
Treat this as a journey where you have a lot of freedom to explore. Enter into meditation as an exciting thing to do for its own sake. We will cover several different approaches to meditation – find out which one suits you. Don’t beat yourself up when things don’t work out – just treat it as another learning experience.

In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities. In the expert’s mind, there are few" - Shunryu Suzuki

Practice: Just Sitting.
There is a lot of ‘theory’ behind meditation, but in reality the only important part is the practice. We will start with ‘Just Sitting’. Aim to practice this for about 15-20 minutes at first, building up to about 30 minutes.

Sit as comfortably as you can, on a cushion or on a chair. Don’t slouch, but sit upright, with your back, neck and head straight and in alignment so that gravity supports your head. Keep you shoulder-blades back, and rest your hands gently on your lap or legs. Relax, keep breathing normally, and gently close your eyes (many traditions meditate with eyes open, but it is often easier to close them when beginning). Now, expecting nothing, just become very aware of all of the feelings in your body – discomforts, aches, warmth, cool, textures, tingling. Just be aware, observe. Now become aware of all of the sounds going on around you – the furnace, traffic, people breathing. Now become aware of the thoughts going on in your head. When a thought arises, acknowledge it and let it go. Start to notice the frequency of thoughts, and how they begin to slow down, and the gaps between the thoughts. Begin to experience the centered stillness as your thoughts no longer crowd you. Remain in that stillness – when another thought arises, just let it go.

Chris.