Tick, Tick...

Last night I saw a local theater production of Jonathan Larson's "Tick, Tick... Boom!". This is a short, semi-autobiograpical musical where Larson explores the feelings of 'Jon,' an as-yet unsuccessful composer of musical theater just about to turn thirty. If you are unfamiliar with the piece then I can highly recommend the recent movie adaptation (available on Netflix). As you can imagine the piece goes through the artist's conflict of being dedicated to creating his art, while at the same time fearing that his work is futile, having reached the dreaded age of thirty without success.

In theater and writing there is a concept of dramatic irony, which according to Wictionary can be defined as "A theatrical effect in which the true meaning of a situation, or some incongruity in the plot, is understood by the audience, but not by the characters in the play." In the case of Tick, Tick... Boom! we have an extra level of dramatic irony, as the audience today knows two extra pieces of information that even the writer did not - namely that:

1. Larson was to go on a few years later to write Rent, one of the most successful and influential Broadway shows ever - one that redefined musical theater for the next twenty years; and
2. Tragically, Larson was to die suddenly the day of the first preview of Rent Off-Broadway. He never got to see it reach Broadway or know of its huge success.
   

This extra information makes the whole of Tick, Tick... Boom! even more poignant and moving, as we know that part of the protagonist's anxiety (whether he could create great, successful art) was unfounded, while the other side - his fear of his mortality and time slipping away - was not.

In our culture we don't like to face our mortality head-on - somehow we feel that it is an unsavory topic or worse that it is morbid and even unlucky. But ignoring our mortality is foolishness. I have no way to know, but I do wonder if Larson's awareness of his mortality spurred him on to stick with his art and to achieve the towering success that was Rent - even though he was never to see it.

In the Bhaddekaratta Sutta (An Auspicious Day), The Buddha tells us:

You shouldn't chase after the past
or place expectations on the future.
What is past
    is left behind.
The future
    is as yet unreached.
Whatever quality is present
you clearly see right there,
       right there.
Not taken in,
unshaken,
that's how you develop the heart.
Ardently doing
what should be done today,
for — who knows? —  tomorrow
    death.
There is no bargaining
with Mortality & his mighty horde.

Whoever lives thus ardently,
    relentlessly
    both day & night,
has truly had an auspicious day:
so says the Peaceful Sage.

There is no bargaining with Mortality & his mighty horde. That said, we should face it and we should be ardently doing what should be done today. I for one am glad that Larson did what he felt needed to be done. The question for all of us is what should be done today?

Metta, Chris.

I have linked below a fully-guided thirty minute meditation on 'Showing Up.' Please feel free to use it in your own practice if you wish.

cjrobson · Showing Up

"Bhaddekaratta Sutta: An Auspicious Day" (MN 131), translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. Access to Insight (BCBS Edition), 30 November 2013, http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.131.than.html .

Photo by Swag Photography on Unsplash

An Inspiring Memoir

Recently Marius, one of our regulars, sent me this lovely memoir of how he discovered meditation. I hope that you all find it as inspiring as I do!

    Chris.

A few month ago my wife and I discovered, by our good fortune, he Camas Meditation Group.  We now attend regularly every Sunday evening, and we love being there.

I would like to explain when, how and why I started meditation, quite unexpectedly, more than 30 years ago. I was at that time teaching Math at a Canadian College, meanwhile roaming local bookstores hoping to find what it was that I did not know I was looking for!

By sheer serendipity I came across a book, entitled “The Empty Mirror”. Somehow it intrigued me, but when I read up about the author, it became an immediate must read! It turned out to be written by a Dutch author, born about the same year and the same city I was born in, Rotterdam, the Netherlands! And like me, he too, lived through the war with all the horrors and suffering for 5 long years.

 In his book he writes about roaming around the world wondering and struggling with the questions I shared and most of us humans share as well. Who are we? Why are we here? And why all this suffering?  For myself I summed that up with the old movie song ‘What’s it all about, Alfie?’ Some of you may be too young to remember that movie, but for me it summed up just how I felt.
For this Dutch author, to find answers, he enrolled for a year in a Japanese Zen Buddhist temple as a lay monk! He relates the hard monastery life of meditation, but also relates in various ways many of the subtle teachings of the Buddhist Masters and the growing of his insight. I became fascinated with his story and the teachings. And I wished I could do what he did and learn what he learned.
Of course, I could not go to Kyoto myself, but here is the magic.

After finishing reading the book, I went out for a walk and the first thing I see is a notice attached to a tree in front of my home. It read:  The Lions Gate Buddhist Priory will be leading free meditation instruction this weekend. Time and location was most convenient for me, so, I went and I received instructions on how to meditate. It was easy, and I loved it immediately. That was my initiation to a new habit that I have come to value more and more as my life went along.
By reading the book I learned about the various Zen styles. There is Rinzai Zen, a very stern and forceful way, but also the Soto Zen, which works much better for Westerners. Other forms of meditation have evolved over time and may differ in different cultures. The outcome is the same; the benefits are!

I started meditating first in a small group in Edmonton, then I moved back to Vancouver B.C. where the Lion’s Gate Priory had a home and I attended regular Zazen each week. I sat with them for several years and was very happy to do so! But then, life’s circumstances made me move so that I could no longer attend the Lions’ Gate Zazen. I meditated on my own but soon got out of the habit. It is very powerful to meditate with a group at regular times. Why that is so, I do not know, but it is! I am very pleased to have discovered the Camas Meditation Group, where we can sit and have the benefit of sitting with others!

 It has brought a new and welcome opening to our lives!

       Marius.

The Book that changed my life:  The Empty Mirror.  Author:  Janwillem van de Wetering.
A sequel to this first book by the same author:  A Glimpse of Nothingness
Yes, the author is Dutch, but both books are in excellent English and easy to read!

Jill Bolte Taylor: My stroke of insight

This video (about 18 minutes long) is a 'must see' for all meditators. I'm not going to comment much about it -- it speaks for itself.
Chris

Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions -- motion, speech, self-awareness –- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.

If the embedded video above doesn't work for you, you can click on this link.

Waking Up Slowly...

Know all things to be like this: A mirage, a cloud castle, a dream, an apparition, without essence, but with qualities that can be seen. Know all things to be like this: As the moon in a bright sky in some clear lake reflected, though to that lake the moon has never moved. Know all things to be like this: As an echo that derives from music, sounds, and weeping, Yet in that echo is no melody. Know all things to be like this: As a magician makes illusions of horses, oxen, carts and other things, nothing is as it appears. -- Samadhi Raja Sutra

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. -- Albert Einstein


For thousands of years the great teachers and mystics have repeatedly pointed out the dream-like nature of reality. As someone who has followed the Buddhist path over the last 13 or so years I have often come across teachings that allude directly or indirectly to the fact that there is something wrong with the way we understand this world. Buddhists call it 'delusion' -- the mis-understanding of the true nature of the world around us. I have to admit that while for many years I had an intellectual understanding of the concept, it is only over the last couple of years that I have begun to see exactly what this might mean.

It's only a glimpse. I don't pretend that I have any deep insight, but I do know that I am beginning to experience and understand a little of this true reality. I know that many of you are moving down this path of understanding, and I encourage you to join in and share your experiences on this blog.

Nobody can tell you how to wake up, or even tell you what it means to be awake. It's something we all must experience for ourselves. Hopefully, however, some of the ideas and stories here will help you on your own personal journey.

Chris.